


insignificance

by fearless_seas



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 18:52:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25870120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fearless_seas/pseuds/fearless_seas
Summary: Their first kiss began with little more than a glance.
Relationships: Kimi Räikkönen/Sebastian Vettel
Comments: 10
Kudos: 44





	insignificance

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 3-4 am.

Their first kiss began with little more than a glance. But Kimi supposes that’s where all great things come from: insignificance. 

A Sunday evening. The warm air of Singapore blows cool across his flushed cheeks. Behind them, the balcony door lays closed and the lights are off. Across the horizon, the city twinkles with lights that compete in beauty only with the incandescent stars above their heads. His attention peel out towards all that lays before him just out of the grasp of his pale, itching fingertips. 

They were laughing. At what exactly Kimi doesn’t quite remember. He does remember that in the midst of their laughter, Sebastian bumped his shoulder with his. But Kimi doesn’t turn his gaze, he only grows silent and his restiscene is almost unnoticeable due to the clash and calmbor of the vehicles below. And in his silence, his eyes tumble towards Sebastian’s hand which lays curled over the balcony railing. A kaleidoscope of color paints itself across each knuckle and every ivory scar which pokes beneath his calloused skin. 

Kimi can’t hear a thing. He can’t hear a thing but the slow breathing of Sebastian’s words that fall sharp but soft past his lips. His eyes trace a line of color from the cusp of his wrist to the hair on his arm and the shirt on his muscular shoulders; over the carve of his neck and the edge of his jaw to his…

Eyes. 

Kimi is a man of few words but perhaps this, this is truly what it is to be speechless. Blue as a cloudless sky, a twinkle that shines deep as the sea and all woven of the softest velvet fabric. There’s a piercing quality that carves itself in every quick flicker of his eyelids. Hues that lay over the rose that lines his cheeks like linen. Sentences thick as cotton climb in his throat, his tongue growing dry in his mouth. Sebastian’s eyes aren’t even looking towards him--they’re looking out towards that night Kimi had been staring towards only moments before. 

And Kimi felt safe. Secure as the midnight rolling towards them in the distance. 

Sensing his silence, Sebastian meets his gaze. “What?”, he chuckles, “What’re you looking at?” A smile toys with lips.

Kimi felt like prey, the collar of his shirt winding as a noose around his neck. But neither of their gazes shift away. A thousand thoughts bend like hurricanes in his mind, a part of his soul that pointed out towards the man in front of him with a certain feebless he’d only rarely known. The inches between their touches could’ve been miles all the same to him. And there’s something hidden in Sebastian’s eyes. Between all the rolling storms and startling color… there’s something written for Kimi and him alone. Kimi stares back harshly into this darkness with a restlessness burning in his bones. Sebastian’s smile fades and with a swallows he says with the absence of words:

_What’re you waiting for?_

All that blue loses his gaze for just a minute as Sebastian trails his sight down to the line of Kimi’s lips. He parts his own, his tongue running over his teeth as though it were meat to carve. But Kimi is at a loss so he doesn’t move. Even as every fiber of himself is screaming with the urge to do something, to do anything. To shove him away, to turn away, or, to grab him and to kiss him… The gaze flickers back up and eyes meet once more. But this time there’s a defeat, a defeat written in the wrinkles at Sebastian’s temples. Something that speaks to Kimi once more:

_Please, do something._

2012\. This year had sprinkled hope between them, hope that either of them would set their hesitations aside. It’s been like this for years now. Each of them grasping at straws, glances and touches that play tug of war with one another. Each of them begging for the other to act. Each of them wanting that and anything more… yet neither of them do. A waltz back and forth both are exhausted to the bone of dancing. 

With a sigh, Sebastian holds his gaze down and turns his head away. He arches himself over the balcony wall wordlessly. That silence permeates once more. A slick movement of defeat that toys the atmosphere between them. A sinking feeling swims in Kimi’s stomach, a sensation of distinct loss and conquest. But this time, the defeat within him made him utterly miserable. A certain rage began to coil within Kimi’s fists, a subtle pinch drawing his furrowed brows nearer. In this rage, a rage of which burns stirling stars into his vision, he grabs violently for Sebastian’s jaw, tugging his face towards him. 

“Not this time,” Kimi huffs, shaking his head. 

Between the finger on his cheek and the thumb pressing into his chin, Sebastian’s eyes are wide with confusion. He murmurs, “What are you--”

Before he can finish, Kimi cuts him off with a rough kiss. A kiss that had been waiting too long. A kiss that fumbled itself over all their lost time. A kiss that spoke somehow with apology. And the recollection of the years he’d been gone slip from his mind as quickly as the tide pulls back on a shore. The thought of this very tide is a memory saturated in a violet blue of the brightest hue. Sebastian’s eyes. The contact of their lips is sharp and the defeat… it’s melted into an quenchable thirst of victory. The victory that trickles between them is thick as gold and warm as honey. 

As though to cradle the blue like a dying flame in his sheltered palms, Kimi’s hands cup the sides of Sebastian’s face. The charms of his nails brush the curls over his ears as he draws him nearer. Sebastian doesn’t take his time, his hands tumbling desperately on his hips until their waists collide. And it felt like the brightest damn thing Kimi had ever seen. After a moment, Sebastian’s touch rises high enough to clutch at his elbows, palming at the hands Kimi has on the side of his cheeks. 

Eventually they pull away but even as they do Kimi doesn’t open his eyes for a long moment. His eyes flutter rapidly beneath his lids as a thousand butterflies of thought were waiting to burst out. He thinks only: _if I look back, will our eyes meet?_ And they do. His eyes blink into focus at the brush of Sebastian’s eyelash flickering on his cheek. 

Sebastian grins. 

And on the crooked side of Kimi’s own grin, Sebastian places his fingertip to the area. It’s as if he were comforting each of his little cracks. 

“That was…”, Sebastian trails off, his head lolling from side to side. “That was nice, wasn’t it?”

Kimi shrugs, “Sure.” But there’s that familiar, unspoken grin postulated to his visage. 

“I mean…”, Sebastian pulls away, there’s a sternness to him as his back falls to the wall. “What are we supposed to do now?”, he bites into his lip, “Is there something we’re to do?”

Kimi tightens his jaw, “Shut up and come here.” Sebastian only peers towards him with wide eyes. “Hell, do I have to do everything myself?”, he chuckles. 

He kisses him again. Interrupted only by occasional laughter that bounces from one mouth to the other. And… he thinks Sebastian loved him then. He loved him on the balcony with the thickness of heat and unblinking noise that bled into the background. He loved him with the memory that morning’s stale coffee and the stench of sweat that a shower had washed clean. He loved him with the fingertips he traced over the cartography of his spine. He loved him with his back to the mattress and his nails biting like teeth into the flesh of his shoulders. He loved him with his mouth to his ear as he fed on each trembling moan that left his lips. And he loved… him. Him alone. 

But this time, Kimi doesn’t quite remember when it ended. 

The next time he opens his eyes, morning has arose. The sunshine splashes over the unmarred shoulders of Sebastian, basking itself over each golden lock of hair. Kimi rubs his face, kicking the blanket out from around his form and turning onto his side. Sebastian's features appear in complete peace as the air moves as little waves in and out of his lungs. So Kimi reaches out, he reaches towards the dawn that spread across the skin of the man before him. Something about it all feels timeless. There’s a calm within him. 

Sebastian, disturbed by his touch, twitches his nose and flips onto his stomach. “Go back to sleep, it’s too early,” he mumbles. 

“Okay,” Kimi replies, he coils an arm over Sebastian’s waist tugging him nearer to his body. 

Will Sebastian still remember this when he is old and gray?

Kimi knows he certainly will. 

All feels right as the stars rush into retreat past the distance of the ceiling. He lays his head on the warmth of Sebastian’s bare back and falls asleep once more without a dream. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! If you did, support your creators and comment! (I respond to every single one). My main formula 1 tumblr is @pieregasly if you have anything else to say!


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